


fall back into place

by SNES



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mentioned Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, New Years, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 03:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17093297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SNES/pseuds/SNES
Summary: It's New Year's Eve in Hyuck's household. Mark and Donghyuck are drunk, Renjun is annoyed out of his mind, Chenle and Jisung are in their own world, Jaemin is seemingly out of touch, and Jeno stresses over wanting a New Year's kiss.





	fall back into place

**Author's Note:**

> i know this is a bit too early for the new year but i couldn't hold myself back from posting this any longer :/ so enjoy this in advance and happy happy holidays!!!

This New Year's Eve was for party hats, the orange bedroom lighting, sad english songs, cheap alcohol and lots of unsupervised drinking.

It was a lot more fun earlier, because they were still up for doing all of that dorky and slightly-crazy bullshit kids like them would do, but the nearer they got to 2019, the more stupid and idle and dull and boring the whole get-together got.

Yeah, this wasn't it.

Jeno thinks back to a time when welcoming the new year didn't have to be as miserable as this.

It was bad, but only because it was decided last-minute. And also because none of them had anticipated, quite literally, not having any coherent plans for celebrating the new year. It's not that Jeno didn't want to be here. It's just that he'd be better off somewhere else.

They're gathered in Donghyuck's home right now. His parents are off to some trip and neglected to bring Hyuck with them, so in turn he decides he wants to trash the whole house for New Year's Eve, but didn't have enough friends for that kind of a wild time. So here he was right now, drunk off his ass even though it was barely past 10 and crying about how he doesn't have reliable friends.

Mark was there for obvious reasons. Aside from being the only back-up Hyuck had when everyone else had plans, they've been dating (and, unfortunately reminding everyone about it with the constant PDA Hyuck exhibited) for almost 6 months now. It would be weird (and slightly discomforting) if he didn't come.

Chenle and Jisung weren't allowed to have any alcoholic drinks, but that didn't seem to matter when they got lost in their own world. They've congregated in their own little universe as they sat by the beanbag chair, talking about things they liked in a language that only the both of them understood. Jeno hears snippets of their conversation and realizes that they were talking about the recent comic they've read (probably while they were together), laughing and fawning over it in length.

Renjun looks like he's either yearning for death or already dying himself. Jeno pays close attention to how he constanly swirls his cup like he wants to douse it on someone, if not on himself. He looks like he doesn't want to be here, but for the most part of their friendship, Jeno has learned that it was nothing but a front Renjun put up so that they wouldn't stay doubtful of who he really was. Jeno suddenly thinks of all the plans the smaller boy might've cancelled and all the other arrangements he had to turn down just to be here. He's scowling at everyone anyway, but Jeno isn't buying any of that shit. He just knows Renjun loves it here.

Jaemin, on the other hand, doesn't talk much for some reason. Jeno decides that it has something to do with Jaehyun, the guy that Jaemin's been dating for a whole year before he disappeared from all of their lives completely. Jaemin had been with him last New Year's Eve, which would explain a lot about why he suddenly became emotional. He stays in the corner for most of their banters, taking little gulps from his sippy cup as he watches everyone with an obviously fake smile on his face.

Jeno, oh, where does he even begin? Jeno is torn. Jeno knows why he's here, but he doesn't know what he's doing. All he's really sure of is the fact that even if he stays here waiting for Jaemin to notice him, or even if he leaves to find it elsewhere, he still won't get what he wants: A New Year's Kiss.

And It shouldn't be wrong to want that, right? It's completely normal. Besides, who wouldn't want a little kiss to celebrate the beautiful occasion? Oh, who is he kidding. Maybe he just wants it too much, which is also why no one's giving it to him.

"I can't believe--" Donghyuck burps out. "I'm stuck with all of you losers."

"Same here." Renjun responds.

Jeno didn't like the sound of that: Loser. But it was sort of true in more than the physical sense. They kind of were losers. No exclusions.

Okay, maybe not every single one of them. Jeno could never call Jaemin a loser, not even in his head. But Jaemin wouldn't know that. He'd be too busy silently moping around over someone who never came back.

Right now, Renjun was going off about some massive mistake he made in his painting for their art class. His paint spilled all over the canvas and he couldn't repair it... or something like that. Jeno lost his attention span somewhere along the way, but Renjun probably knows that no one was listening besides Jaemin anyway.

Mark then proceeds to tell a story about his most distinct memory of Christmas back in Canada. It's sort of childish, Jeno thinks, but he stays sober enough to listen to Mark slur out the words to his own story.

"That's so- ador- adorable, Mark." Hyuck chokes out, although he doesn't look like he's listening. His eyes are unfocused. "Tell us your other stories."

"Okay, so there was this time--"

Suddenly, an explosion booms from outside their window, halting everyone from their conversations.

"Was that a--" Mark flinches again.

There's another loud bang coming from outside, clanging against the windows. Hyuck shoots up and shivers as he lets out a scream.

"I'm going to die," Hyuck groans out as he stumbles to get up. "Oh, fuck. I'm going to die."

"Jesus Christ. Stop being dramatic." Renjun rolls his eyes. "It's just the damn fireworks, even though it's just like, 10:30 or whatever. You have idiots for neighbors."

"It's the aliens, dumbass!" He throws his cup at Renjun, piss drunk.

"Oh my God." Renjun's jaw drops. "Did he just...? Holy shit, did you really just say--?"

"He's drunk off his mind, you insensitive prick--" Mark hiccups. "Besides, he's cute like this. So pretty and dorky and--" another croak. "Adorable..."

"You think I'm cute?" He slurs out, his blush growing impossibly redder.

"Yeah..."

Jaemin cringes, which was unusual of him. "You guys are literally dating."

"If I'm cute, then you better kiss me." Hyuck says. Mark seemed more than happy to oblige, much to everyone's disgust.

Jisung squints like he hasn't thought of doing it with the boy beside him. "You guys are ruining my expectations for the new year already."

"How do I unsee this!?" Chenle screeches. "This would be a lot less harder to take in if I wasn't sober!"

Hyuck breaks the kiss, but only to say "get out of my house or get over it" when just minutes earlier he was sobbing over wanting all of them in his house forever.

No one says a word when they get back to making out.

"Fuck. Why do I even bother." Renjun says it like he means it, but it's all good when he laughs out the tension and drowns out whatever else he has to say with more alcohol.

They're silent for a complete twenty minutes, save for Donghyuck's drunken giggling and the small mumbles coming from Chenle and Jisung. Somewhere along the way, Mark has passed out, not that anyone gave a shit, apparently.

The first person who says a word is Jisung, who stands up and says, "We're going to hoard Hyuck's fridge. You guys want anything?"

Jeno shakes his head. Jaemin does so, too.

"Chenle," he clicks his tongue. He leads the other boy up. They walk to the door and head down, the sound of their laughs getting farther and farther. _Man_ , Jeno thinks, _those kids have a better love life than I do._

By the time he felt like calling it a night, it was already 10:55. It distracts him when Jaemin inches closer, patting on his shoulder.

"Hey," He greets the boy cheerfully. "What's up?" Jeno looks behind him.

"The ceiling," he replies with a chuckle. Jaemin rolls his eyes playfully.

The younger boy mutters, "No jam."

They break into a fit of laughter. Jeno doesn't think he's heard anyone call him that for a long time. Jaemin always makes things feel so fresh and new.

"I'd be offended. But it's true." He smirks.

"Not always." The younger replies. "You're a fun guy, you know?"

"Hm," Jeno raises his brow in false suspicion, then chuckles. "How's the countdown going so far?"

"Eh," he looks down at his sippy cup. "I guess it could be better."

Jeno tilts his head. "Better how?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Sly. "I suppose it'd be more fun if I were out on the streets, or maybe in some club or the market. You get what I mean?"

"I'm getting it." Jeno says.

"It's really nice here, I mean, I'd spend any day with all of you guys here if I could. But..."

"But what?"

"But..." then Jaemin looks at him. "Oh come on, you know what I mean."

He does. It surprises him more than he thought it would, but it does.

The younger boy shifts closer, his breath suddenly hot against Jeno's cheeks.

"Let's ditch." Jaemin whispers it like it's supposed to be their little secret. Their private agreement to some magical spur-of-the-moment getaway.

Jeno can't help the smile on his face. "I can't say no to that."

Jaemin is still grinning at him. "You deal with Renjun. I'll deal with the junior lovebirds downstairs." With that, he stands up and yawns, catching Renjun's attention. "On second thought, I'm hungry. I'll head down for a while." He does just that, leaving Renjun and Jeno with dazed Donghyuck and an unconscious Mark.

He stands up, scratches his nape. The smaller boy looks at him.

"I'm going to get some water with Jaemin downstairs." He explains a little sloppily. Renjun raises a brow.

"Seriously? There's literally a cooler beside me with a shit ton of water bottles in it. You think I'm dumb?"

"Okay, no--" He curses at himself. "I meant we were going to get, like, some chips--"

"Make a better excuse and I might just say yes." He hates when Renjun taunts him like this. The guy's got his thought process memorized. "Come on. Two more tries, dickhead."

"Don't call me a fucking dickhead. God." He runs his hand over his face. "I do happen to have a valid excuse--"

"Look," he sighs. "If you're going to ditch, just tell me, 'kay? The least I'd want is for all of us to go through the pain of sitting here and watching all this romance bullshit for hours. I could get laid tonight, but being the generous, kind, considerate friend I am, I choose to suffer through this hell just so you guys don't have to."

"Okay." He cringes. "That's a little over the top."

"I know." He sticks out his tongue. "Doesn't stop you from owing me, though."

"Sorry." He says. "And thank you. I mean it."

"Don't mention it, ugh." Renjun feigns disgust.

He walks to the door before Renjun speaks again.

"Hey, before you leave... can you promise me one thing?"

He opens Hyuck's bedroom door before he replies. "Yeah?"

"Show Nana a good time, please." He says in a serious tone. "He kind of needs it."

Jeno doesn't just promise Renjun. He swears on it. _He swears on his life._

He heads down the stairs, feeling his breath slow. Chenle and Jisung ignore him when they see him.

"Coast is clear?" Jaemin asks him once he nudges the main door open from the inside. Jeno nods.

"Yep." The younger boy grins wide at his response. It must hurt to smile like that all the damn time. "What about Jisung and Chenle?"

"I had to bribe them before I could." He scratches his nape. "Remind me to buy three cans of Pringles for them, okay?"

Seconds later, they're both running down the neighborhood. Jeno doesn't understand why running around and feeling the air on his skin always makes him feel like he's being stripped of some sort of heavy burden. It's always been like this for him, always makes him feel like he can drown out everything else when he gets especially invested in the moment. Running always had him feeling some type of way. Jaemin was pleasant company. He didn't feel like an invasion. He didn't feel like some guy Jeno was just _running_ with. He felt like some reward; some incentive; some beautiful missing piece.

They find themselves in a mini-mart two blocks away from Hyuck's neighborhood. There was no current plan of action. The younger boy insists that they'll think about that later, but Jeno is kind of worried that they might've ditched the others and end up doing nothing either way. He checks the digital clock down the hall and realizes that it's already past 11. Jeno eyes Jaemin when he disappears onto the snack aisle. He follows him there.

"Where do we go after this?" He tells the other boy, but he is uncharacteristically ignored.

"Are you worried about your New Year's kiss?" Jaemin asks a little spontaneously as he browses through the import section. He doesn't say anything about Jeno's question. "I mean, you've been so quiet for the whole night. There must be something you're stressing over."

Jeno shakes his head. "More at the fact that I've never ever had one. But, like, it's too late for that. I might just have to settle with kissing 2018's ass goodbye and stake my chances on next year."

Jaemin grabs a whole bag of Lay's before he looks back at Jeno. "It's not too late. Give the cashier guy a little peck before leaving. Kiss some girl on the street. Make out with your taxi driver on the way home. Blame it on the alcohol. _Boom_. It should't be so hard."

"Well, it shouldn't be so easy, either." He says. "That kind of kiss is special. Meaningful. You don't just get it on with some random guy then forget about it in the morning. You don't just decide you want to leave things where they should be, which is as many miles away from that person as possible. You'd know that, right?"

Jaemin falls silent. "...I suppose I would."

"Oh," Jeno bites his bottom lip at the realization. "Come on, Nana, I didn't-- I'm sorry for saying that."

He shakes his head. "It's fine... Jen."

They exit before Jaemin tells him anything else. They're walking down the busy streets now, trying not to lose each other in the heavy crowd.

"Can I tell you something?"

Jeno nods. "Anything."

"Okay, so-- wait. Give me a second." He takes a sharp inhale.

"You don't have to tell me if you can't."

" _Okay, so_. Jaehyun, he--" Jaemin gulps. "I haven't told anyone else about this, but he called me yesterday night, which shocked me, I mean, it'd shock anyone, really. It was a nice talk at first, and we were just updating each other about our own lives and what we're up to and things like that... but then he told me he wanted to see me, that I could set the time and we could meet somewhere for New Year's. I was like, what? Was he for real? So of course I said no. Then it went downhill 'cause he suddenly started lashing out at me--"

"What?" He squints. "You hung up on him, right? Please tell me he said sorry."

"He didn't." He mumbles. "I mean, it wasn't just about not wanting to see him. He-- cut ties with me and it's- he's acting like nothing happened. He doesn't even care about what I might feel."

"That lying manipulative dick."

"He's not a dick. Okay? He ruined a lot of things for me, and he kind of broke my heart, but he's not a dick. He just wanted to see me."

"Do you always have to be so nice?" Jeno argues.

"I'm just giving him the benefit of the doubt--"

"You don't have to defend him against yourself. He's an asshole and that much isn't going to change."

"Come on, Jen..."

His tone raises a little. "Don't think that I don't know. You changed when he left. Your smile wasn't the same. You haven't been yourself in a long time and it's all because of him."

"Uh," Jaemin looks at him then, coy puzzlement all across his face. "How did you--"

"How could I not? It's so obvious it even hurts to just look at you." He says. "You're always just _he's probably this_ or _he's most likely that_. I know he's making things _very_ hard for you, but think about yourself for once and learn to-- _hey_ , are you even listening?"

"I didn't--" his eyes narrow at Jeno. "I tried so hard to keep myself together for months, and I thought I was pulling it off. You didn't tell me you noticed..."

"It's not just me." He holds Jaemin by his shoulders. "If I told you, what would that make you feel? All those things Jaehyun did, they'd come rushing right back. None of us want that, alright?"

"Can we just-- Jeno, I really don't want to cry." He admits. "Could we-- Okay, I suck for bringing it up and all. But he really doesn't mean all of that to me anymore... Let's just stop."

Jeno huffs, hugs Jaemin close to assure him. It lasts like that for a few seconds before he pulls back and asks, "Do you want to go home?"

"I don't know." Jaemin shrugs and smiles a little. "Do you?"

Of course he doesn't.

"So where do we go?"

Jaemin stretches out his hand for Jeno to hold. "Take me somewhere nice." Jeno doesn't wait to be told twice.

He doesn't have a place in mind, but anywhere with Jaemin was good enough. He takes hold of Jaemin's hand and leads him to an open area in the holiday market, where he spots a cute Santa's helper hat and buys it solely for the purpose of having the younger boy wear it.

"I don't have to wear this now, right?" Jaemin tilts his head as he faces the older boy, playing with the fuzz. He looked adorable.

"But it suits you."

"Okay, maybe shut up." Jaemin sneers.

"You look like one of those kids forced to wear their costumes for stage plays."

"You mean ridiculous?"

"I mean cute."

He blushes. "Asshole."

"I'm not kidding! I swear!" He chokes on his own spit when Jaemin pokes his side painfully.

They chase for each other and dance to the beat of some Christmas song that plays on repeat all across the intercom.

Jaemin murmurs out the lyrics in a concentrated tone. "I think I know this song."

"I'd be surprised if you didn't." Jeno says. "I mean, who doesn't know all the Christmas songs?"

"Yeah," was his dazed reply. "Hey," he pokes Jeno again. "Look at the clock. We're one minute away from 2019."

"You know what we should do?" He asks as they exit the market, getting ready to dash.

Jaemin looks back at him, smiles and asks back weakly. "What?"

"Let's run for the bus stop." Jeno says, somehow feeling the alcohol in his system take action. "And then we should hop on a bus, then go somewhere."

The younger boy looks around, blinks once, twice. "Yeah." Jaemin feels just as tipsy as he is in that moment. He bites his lip. "I'd like that. Yeah, fuck, let's do it."

Jeno snickers. He could get used to this. "Thirty," he says.

After ten seconds, Jaemin mutters, a smile creeping up his lips. "Twenty,"

They count again, up to eleven. Then they start dashing for it.

They run down the streets like little kids on Halloween as they count the numbers down from ten to one.

**_Ten._ **

They try to split, but Jeno finds his hands chasing for Jaemin's anyway. So he lets them and leaves them.

_**Nine.** _

Jaemin looks impossibly beautiful, with his hair swishing with the wind and his toothy smile shining brighter than the billions of stars above them in that moment.

_**Eight.** _

Jeno feels hyperaware of his own breathing, how it steadies and picks up everytime Jaemin's hand squeezes a little tighter.

_**Seven.** _

Jeno doesn't let go of Jaemin's hand as they dash through a steep slope all the way to the bus stop. He knows where this is headed; it's not a certain destination, but he knows it'll be good either way.

_**Six.** _

Jaemin twirls around Jeno's arms like a drunk girl at homecoming. The older boy laughs at the gesture, feeling his heart beat a little faster.

_**Five.** _

There's a boom across the sky. He doesn't stop to look, but he sees it anyway when he gazes at Jaemin's eyes, where the fireworks have reflected. It's all the colors and all the emotions he's feeling right now. The intensity and courage of red, the anxiety of blue, the urgency of green.

_**Four.** _

It's like the whole world is chanting with them; cheering for them.

_**Three.** _

They're still running down, and it feels so incredibly fleeting. It hits the both of them like an overwhelming trainwreck.

They reach the bus stop.

_**Two.** _

Suddenly it doesn't matter what he's doing, where he's going.

_**One.** _

They shout it out at the top of their lungs.

Jeno takes a swerve to the nearest bus then, panting as he guides Jaemin inside just when the monitor announces the departure. They stand in the middle and find that the bus is completely empty, save for the driver and the two of them. His hands land on his knees. They huff and swoon at the welcoming feeling of cold air-conditioning on their clammy skin. Jaemin looks up first and laughs. Jeno looks at him then, too, feeling a little brave.

"Happy New Year," Jaemin whispers this to him, a little breathless. It feels like some weird confession.

"Happy New Year." Jeno says it back. They're back to laughing like idiots again, and Jeno feels it. It's seeping through his bones and ripping at every single nerve on his body. This was the moment that would define all of the mornings and evenings he would have from then on. Whatever he wanted, he had to do it tonight or risk losing another life-changing make or break situation.

Jaemin stares him in the eyes, expectant. His eyes twinkle with every passing second. Jeno doesn't know how he's going to pull it off, but his hands are already curving at Jaemin's waist, careful and meticulous.

"Na Jaemin, can I..?" He asks, his throat starting to go dry.

The younger boy wraps his arms around Jeno's neck and giggles. "Just kiss me."

They kiss, all smiles, and it feels warm and soft and tentative. Jeno feels his heart almost climbing out of his throat, almost spilling out of his tongue, but Jaemin feels the same and pushes his heart back in with his lips. It doesn't even feel like kissing. It feels like magic, like doing something _special_. It's the most redeeming thing he's ever done, and doing it or wanting to do it over and over again is something that no one in the world can ever take away from him.

It goes on like that for a long amount of time, and it only stops when Jaemin pulls back, his hat threatening to fall from his head. His eyes are blown wide, a crazy blush of cherry red on his cheeks. He looks alarmed.

"What's the matter?" Jeno asks as he pats Jaemin's unkempt bangs from below the hat. He feels a little whimsy.

"Where are we going?" His eyebrows curl in his worry.

It takes Jeno a moment to realize that they hopped on a bus without knowing where they're headed. At 12am. With no other bus to ride to get back home.

"Wow. Okay. We're kind of stupid." Jeno lets out a snicker.

" _Kind of?_ " Jaemin laughs at him. "We're dumb as hell."

"Yeah." Then he's laughing with Jaemin. "Should we get down...?"

Jaemin shakes his head, his hand on Jeno's heaving chest. _Of course not._

"So what do we do?" Jeno asks. "You told me to take you somewhere nice. We might be on the road to hell and we wouldn't know a damn thing."

"Wow. Maybe chill a little?" Jaemin snickers. "I don't care where we're headed. I care, though, that you're not even freaking out over the fact that we kissed."

"You kind of pushed me away though--" But he's _right_. They did just kiss. Jeno blushes, his brows furrowing.

"I don't know if that's a good reaction." Jaemin pouts. His face grows more serious when Jeno doesn't respond. "Hey. I don't know how to read minds, asshole. Tell me what you feel."

"Can I just tell you something crazy?" The older boy shushes him. He needed to hold Jaemin's hand for this moment.

"Ha. I already know what you're going to say."

"Yeah?" Jeno's eyes twinkle at Jaemin's response.

"I do, so could you just show me?" He doesn't hesitate now as he finally kisses Jaemin again.

When they pull back, Jeno diverts his attention to his surroundings just so he wouldn't have to grasp himself from doing an impromptu confession. It was right at the tip of his tongue, but it was something too massive for the both of them right now.

Instead, he focuses on the flashing sign that dangles above them, the name of a city that's about an hour away in big red letters. The streets are wild and the people outside are rejoicing as they welcome the new year. Jeno can hear their smiles even from within the bus. The bus driver looks very questionable, but also tired as shit, and the lemon-scented air freshener could have been a little lighter.

Jaemin isn't panicking for some reason. Jeno doesn't see why he should, either. He grabs Jaemin's palm and kisses it. For the first time in his life, he doesn't feel _dumb_ for being dumb. In fact, he feels sort of like a genius.

He thinks it's because of the alcohol. But it couldn't have been, because, sober or not, he can't imagine a universe where tonight would've gone any other way.

☆

A little past 12 midnight, in a secluded bus on the road to nowhere in particular, Lee Jeno had his New Year's kiss.

(And although it was impulsive and awkward and a lot of things it could've gone without, he was sure it was still more than anything and everything he ever dreamed of.)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks a lot for reading! please do leave a comment or kudos bc they are very much appreciated!!!


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